Saturday, October 01, 2005

What would you like to drink?

The beverage cart is that large, heavy item in the middle of the aisle when we are coming through the cabin pouring drinks. It weighs about 400 pounds, is difficult to maneuver, and usually takes two people operating it in order to get it to move in a straight line.

As you see it proceeding down the aisle, it shouldn’t take long to figure out that we will soon be getting to your row to take your beverage order. This is a cue to start thinking about what it is you want to drink, so that when we do ask you, you will be prepared to answer this question.

It’s an easy process. I ask you what you would like to drink. You answer. That should be the end of it, although a please, thank you, and you’re welcome are always a nice addition.

Here are some examples of how it usually goes, though:

Me: Would you like something to drink?
You: No. Just water. (Here’s a hint, water is something to drink, so say yes. When you say no, I’ve already moved on.)

Me: Would you like something to drink?
YOU: Soda. (If you don’t specify a flavor, I’ll assume that you want club soda. If you want a flavored soda, say so.)

Me: Would you like something to drink?
You: Tonic. (See above notes. Specify a flavor if you want one.)

Me: Would you like something to drink?
You: Coffee. (I move on to the next row, only to feel you tugging on my skirt.)
You: I want cream and sugar. (Then say so when you ordered your coffee; there’s not a little self-serve container on your tray table.)

Me: Would you like something to drink?
You: What do you have? (I list off the beverages available.)
You: Oh, well do you have root beer?
Me: No. (It wasn’t on the list that I just went through for you.)

Me: Would you like something to drink?
You: Tea, herbal, preferably caffeine-free peppermint.
Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, we only have black tea. Will that be okay?
You: What kind of airlines is this that doesn’t serve peppermint tea? (The kind that is trying to make a profit, and isn’t raising your ticket price thereby allowing you to travel for less than cost.)

Me: Would you like something to drink?
You: poy edb,vcja-[kb
Me: Excuse me, I wasn’t able to hear you.
You: 9tyghol’m;ryagdzyh
Me: I’m sorry, you’ll have to speak up, it’s very noisy on the plane and I can’t hear you.
You: I SAID I WANT WATER!!!! (Well, why didn’t you take your fingers out of your mouth and speak clearly the first time?)

Me: Would you like something to drink?
You: (Silence)
Me: Sir, would you like something to drink.
You: (Continued silence. I move on to the next passenger.)
You: (sarcastically) I’d like a drink, too, you know.
Me: Of course, sir, what would you like? (And next time, if you take off your damn head phones when you see me serving everyone else in your row, you will be able to quickly figure out that I’ve been trying to take your order for a couple minutes now!)

Do you see yourself in these examples?

8 comments:

number4of5 said...

You would think people would be able to handle very simple questions. I was a waitress for a long time and can fully understand what you are saying.
My favorite question: Hello, how are you?
Answer: Diet Coke
Really?
I just feel bad that you are stuck in a large metal tube with these morons.

Anonymous said...

I see myself in the "me". This was HILARIOUS! Just be careful, OK girl? (I'm talking anonymity.)

-Ellen aka Queen of Sky
queenofsky.net

indoloony said...

hehe..I don't remember if I am guilty of these random examples you have posted. they are funny nonetheless and I'll be sure to be specific in the future.

Cheers!

Dan Kauffman said...

NO I will clearly say Coke, Coffee or Tea with sugar,

PS I also hand drinks over to the person sitting beside me to aid the flight attendent when possible does that get me a good boy gold star? ;-)

PPS I have the reputation in the restaraunts I fequent of being the MOST patient customer they have when they get hit with a rush and are over burdened
As a result I am always welcomed with tiptop service and smiles,

Anonymous said...

Is it OK to ask for "a can of coke" as opposed to "coke", in order to get a full can? Usually, the FA's just put ice in a cup, put it on top of the can and hand it over, which I do not mind, but wonder if that is because it is easier to do so, or more of a way to tell me that that's a no no. I avoid looking at them in the face for not knowing what their reaction may be.

I ask for a can because I usually consume more than the two sip cup.

Traytable said...

Haha! These were good.

Another:

F/A: WOuld you like coffee or tea, air?
Pax: Yes please.
F/A: Tea, or coffee??
Pax: Yes please.
F/A: Which would you like, tea OR coffee?
Pax: I said yes!
F/A: FOr crying out loud, which one would you like - tea OR coffee?!

:p

Fly Girl said...

It's okay to ask for a full can of coke, or a full can of anything. Generally, we'll just hand the can to you with the set up of ice, leaving you to open and pour as you see fit. It's faster, it's easier on the nails, and sometimes you may not want to begin drinking it immediately.

Anonymous said...

Ma'am, my luggage is lost again, can you help.

Yes Sir, when did you check it in.

Two hours ago ma'am.

Humm I'm sorry please forgive me.

But ma'am, this is the second time this month. The first time I had to go to a meeting underdressed.

I'm sorry, we will have your to you by tomorrow. Gee Thanks.

Ma'am,

Why is the plane delayed.
Sir it is due to crew shortage. Humm OK, this has only happened 3 times this month.

Sorry sir.

OK well I will only miss my connecting flight no big deal.

Sorry sir.