Jokes

Friends frequently email me flight attendant jokes, usually adding at the beginning a disclaimer that says, hope you aren’t offended.

Hey -- I have a sense of humor and can laugh at these jokes, if they’re funny that is. I’m not offended by blonde jokes either, even though I’m blonde. I don’t take myself that seriously, and neither should you.

Here are a couple of my current favorites:


FLIGHT ATTENDANT JOKE:
It was mealtime on a small airline and the stewardess asked the passenger if he would like dinner. "What are my choices?" he asked. She replied, "Yes or No."


BLONDE JOKE:
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.

The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"

The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.

The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."


BLONDE FLIGHT ATTENDANT JOKE:
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The trip they were flying had a layover in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and work out.

The next morning as the crew gathered to leave for the airport, the captain noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room."You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here,” she cried, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says "Do Not Disturb!”