What is it about the beverage cart that seems to cause so much trouble for people? I've written before about how difficult it can be for people to simply order a beverage, but after working the beverage cart my last couple of flights, it seems that there are additional problems for people.
Whether it's stupidity, narcissism, or just inattention, the following are things that happened on my last flight. You're experience will be more enjoyable if you heed this advice:
The cart weighs several hundred pounds. It is hard for me to move it. Please be patient as I try to maneuver.
When I am pushing the cart down the aisle, there is very little clearance on either side of it. If you have your head, arms, shoulders, foot, or any part of your body sticking out into the aisle, we are going to run into you. This should not be a surprise for you. Stay clear, please.
We cannot push the cart over carry-on items that you have sticking out in the aisle. Please move them.
As I am serving from the cart, please do not grab my butt as I walk by. You will get my attention, true, but it won't be in a good way. (Yes, this happens.)
If you weigh 200 pounds, chances are you are not going to be able to squeeze by the beverage cart. I weigh substantially less and I can barely do it. Give us a minute and we'll try to get out of your way.
Do not reach up on the cart and take things off for yourself. If you fail to follow this advice and tomato juice falls over you, do not think it's my fault.
Do not put garbage in the ice bucket.
Do not come up so close behind me on the cart that when I bend down to get something that I butt into you. I need a little bit of personal space in which to work.
Do not take liquor off the cart. This is stealing.
And finally, as I hand you your beverage, do not hand me a dirty diaper!!!! (I can't believe I actually have to list that one.)