Flight Attendant Costumes

As a kid, I loved Halloween.  The dressing up, the candy, the scary games, the frivolity of it all.  As childhood segued into teen years, it took on a different meaning.  Sure, it was still about costumes and candy, but now factor in haunted houses, boys, parties and making out. 

 

Halloween as an adult doesn't really register on my radar scope.  I don't enjoy putting on a costume any longer.  I certainly don't need the wasted calories of cheap candy.  And the parties just don't seem the fun that they once were.

 

Which is why it is good that I am not flying on Halloween.

 

Although we still must report to work professionally dressed and in full uniform, once onboard the plane we are allowed a little leeway in self-expression:  we can have a little fun with a Halloween costume.  For obvious reasons, we are not permitted to wear masks, anything frightening, anything political, or anything slutty.  Since that eliminates all the really fun things about dressing up, I never really got into the costumes at work thing. 

 

That is, until last year.  And it wasn't even really a costume.  It was just a pin of a large smiling jack-o-lantern.  All day long passengers felt compelled to tell me that Halloween was a pagan holiday, and that they would pray for my soul.  While I just put on a smile and nodded, inside I was thinking -- "it's a pumpkin, for pete's sake, not a statement of my belief system." 

 

I was just trying to loosen up and have a little fun.  But I won't ever do it again.

 

(In the interest of full disclosure, I also wear a heart for Valentine's Day, a shamrock for St. Patrick's Day, a flag for the Fourth of July, and a wreath at Christmas.)

 

 

 

 

Happy Halloween

Carve your very own pumpkin here.

French Women Don't Get Fat

A jumpseat friend left me her copy of the book French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano.  On it, she left a note of further explanation:  "I know, I know, you're not fat.  But I also know that you love good food and wine, and thought that this would explain how you can eat and drink it all and still look so damn thin!"

 

I took the book home with me and started reading it this morning.  LOVE IT!  It talks all about eliminating guilt and deprivation.  Instead, you should enjoy and savor your food, getting the very most from those things that you love.  

 

The author offers several tips, and one of them fits my situation spot on.  She says to avoid airline food.  Because it doesn't taste good.  Duh!  Whenever possible I try to either bring my own food to eat during the flight, or I have something right before leaving to hold me over till I arrive.  Why waste the energy, let alone calories, on food that is barely edible when I can have something yummy and that I really enjoy instead!

 

I'm not very far into the book and have already copied down several recipes that I must try soon.  A big thank you goes out to my friend for passing on the book -- it fits exactly with my lifestyle and my relationship with food and wine.

 

That Big, Heavy Cart in the Aisle

What is it about the beverage cart that seems to cause so much trouble for people?  I've written before about how difficult it can be for people to simply order a beverage, but after working the beverage cart my last couple of flights, it seems that there are additional problems for people. 

 

Whether it's stupidity, narcissism, or just inattention, the following are things that happened on my last flight.   You're experience will be more enjoyable if you heed this advice:

 

The cart weighs several hundred pounds.  It is hard for me to move it.  Please be patient as I try to maneuver.

 

When I am pushing the cart down the aisle, there is very little clearance on either side of it.  If you have your head, arms, shoulders, foot, or any part of your body sticking out into the aisle, we are going to run into you.  This should not be a surprise for you.  Stay clear, please.

 

We cannot push the cart over carry-on items that you have sticking out in the aisle.  Please move them.

 

As I am serving from the cart, please do not grab my butt as I walk by.  You will get my attention, true, but it won't be in a good way.  (Yes, this happens.) 

 

If you weigh 200 pounds, chances are you are not going to be able to squeeze by the beverage cart.  I weigh substantially less and I can barely do it.  Give us a minute and we'll try to get out of your way.

 

Do not reach up on the cart and take things off for yourself.  If you fail to follow this advice and tomato juice falls over you, do not think it's my fault.

 

Do not put garbage in the ice bucket. 

 

Do not come up so close behind me on the cart that when I bend down to get something that I butt into you.  I need a little bit of personal space in which to work.

 

Do not take liquor off the cart.  This is stealing.

 

And finally, as I hand you your beverage, do not hand me a dirty diaper!!!!  (I can't believe I actually have to list that one.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Airline Humor

I love it when you send me emails with links and information.  This bit of info comes courtesy of Fred. 

 

I don't know if it's true or not, and it really doesn't matter, it's just worth a giggle. 

 

"It has been reported that an employee for Ansett Australia (Airlines), who happened to have the last name of Gay, got on a plane using the company's 'Free Flight' offer for staff.  However, when Mr. Gay tried to take his seat, he found it being occupied by a fare paying passenger."  (more)

 

 

 

Q & A

Do you have a guy in every port?

(Laughing riotously) No, not hardly. I am fortunate, however, to have friends around the United States, and that includes many of my layover cities. It's always fun to meet up with them, go to local places, and to meet new friends through them. I'm just as comfortable being alone and on my own, though, as I am in a group.


Do you have to share your hotel room? Do you pay for it yourself?

No, we don't share hotel rooms. The company pays for single rooms for every crew members. Of course, what people do on their layover time, and whose hotel room it is in, is their own business.


I'd like to be a Fly Girl like you. Is anyone hiring?

While it's a tough time in the industry, many of the smaller, regional carriers are hiring. Only a few of the major airlines are, as they already have many people on furlough (laid off) status. There are a variety of online site where you can get updated information about flight attendant hiring. Or, for specific information, just drop me a private email and tell me what you're looking for. I'll try to connect you with someone who can help.


Did you ever want to be a pilot?

No.


Where are you going on your next vacation?

Somewhere warm. The exact destination is still up in the air. (No pun intended.)


Do you want to meet up on a layover? Where are you flying? Have you met anyone from online?

I have met in person people who I originally got to know through online interaction. This is not something that I do lightly, as it involves huge issues concerning my personal safety and security, as well as coming clean with my real name. There are lots of hurdles to get over, and back ups to put in place, before I'd consider meeting up with anyone that I didn't know. I'm not out trolling for dates, so for me it's only about expanding my network of friends.

Gifts for the Traveler

For personal travel needs, or gifts for the traveler in your life, check out Flight 001.  Their website is easy to navigate, but their retail stores may even be more fun to visit.  They currently have three retail locations, located in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Manhattan.

 

You'll find lots of luggage, packing bags, gadgets, and other travel accessories.

 

Just in case any of my family or friends are reading this post, Christmas is just around the corner (hint, hint).  Here are some things that I'm putting on my wish list

 

The Airline Book , which celebrates the history and culture of air travel, would make a great coffee table book.   I can just imagine some of those photos from the "olden" days.  I also love the cute little silk sleep mask, would probably keep my hotel space a lot tidier with the cable yo-yo, and would be more organized in my packing with the traveler bag. 

 

Fare Shopping

A friend called today to ask how much a ticket would cost to fly from Boston to Chicago.  I told her that I had no idea, and she was shocked.  She evidently wasn't familiar with the Marry Me, Fly For Free concept.  Actually, this happens frequently.  People assume that I must not all the various fares between myriad cities, including those on airlines that I don't work for and cities that I don't fly to. 

 

On the occasion that I buy a full fare ticket for myself, I check the usual travel sites, just like everyone else.  The individual airline websites are getting better about listing lowest priced fares, and some guarantee that the price you get from them is the lowest.

 

Well known major travel sites that I check include:  Expedia, Orbitz, Hotwire, Cheap Tickets, and Travelocity.  I have found fares on these sites to be fairly consistent with one another.

 

Other sites that I check, that are perhaps a little bit lesser known are:  Side Step (compares the fares of several different carriers), Which Budget  (a listing of the budget carriers that fly between various cities), and Fare Compare. 

 

Yes, I know there are lots of other sites, but these are the ones that I use because they've always worked well for me.

 

 

 

 

Breast Cancer Plane

A reader, JoeyC, passed along information regarding an aircraft from Delta's low cost off-shoot, Song, which has been painted to support Breast Cancer Awarness month.  Not the prettiest thing, but hey, it's for a good cause.  Take a look.

 

 

Like, Not Love

Somehow this seems an appropriate little quiz for me today. Mr. Amazingly Gorgeous called, apologizing all over himself. (About damn time, I say!)

He's going to be traveling to my city next week and asked me if he could take me to dinner. I said yes, because, just like in The Godfather, "he made me an offer I couldn't refuse."

I'm not about to fall in love with him, but it probably qualifies as like.

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You tend to give more than take in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

The Magic Words: Please & Thank You

Manners at 40,000 feet:

 

Me:  Can I get you something to drink?

 

5 year old:  Orange juice, please.

 

8 year old:  Me, too.

 

Mom:  That's not the way we taught to you talk.

 

8 year old:  I'd like orange juice, too, please.

 

Me:  (Smiling as I'm pouring the juice).  Here you go, kids. 

 

Mom:  (after a brief pause)  What do you say?

 

5 year old & 8 year old:  (in unison)  Thank you!

 

Me:  You are quite welcome!  And what can I get for you, ma'am?

 

Mom:  Gimme a coke.

 

Me:  Here you are.  (Long, long pause)  And you are welcome, too!

 

 

Idiots

I've spent the last couple of days working with idiots.  Nice, friendly, college-educated people, but idiots nonetheless.

 

While I recognize that my job isn't rocket science, it does require reasonably good interpersonal skills, a modicum of self-initiative, and lots of common sense.

 

While there are occasional flight responsibilities that occur only on specific flights (interntional procedures only on interntional flights, the use of airstairs at airports where a jetway is malfunctioning, seating restrictions for light load situations, etc.), there are typical responsibilities that occur with every flight, every single take off and every single landing.  Which is why it is so surprising to me to be flying with someone who doesn't know what to do -- after several years of flying.

 

Last night, descending into our layover city, a co-worker stood in the back galley chatting with me while I attempted to close our the final paperwork of the flight.  Let's see, I was closing galley bins, doing paper, cleaning up the galley, and she was. . . standing there doing nothing.  I finally asked her to close bins and drawers on the side of the galley she was standing on.  She just looked at me with a dazed look, and asked again what it was that I wanted her to do.

 

At this point I just kicked into high gear and did it myself.  Not the preferred choice, I realize, but there was no time to explain what needed to be done.  We were going to land soon.  I asked how long she had been flying, figuring that she must be new.  She said six years.  SIX YEARS and you don't know how to secure the galley for landing? 

 

Sometimes I work with idiots.

 

 

 

Retro Uniforms

Everything old is new again. . . .  Well, I certainly hope not!

 

After taking a look at this history of flight attendant uniforms, I can tell you that the retro look has no appeal to me.

 

I'm much more comfortable with the professional look of today's flight attendants than the sex-kitten look of yesterday.  At least onboard the aircraft that is. . . .

 

 

 

 

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Just in case you may have missed this detail, October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Here are two easy things that you can do this month to help be a part of the cure:

 

The National Breast Cancer Foundation provides good information about signs and symptoms, early detection, current research, and also debunks some of the myths about cancer.  One woman in seven either has or will develop breast cancer in her lifetime.  This means that we all know someone who has faced this disease.  Please take a few minutes to read up on what you can do to help.

 

Over at the Breast Cancer Site, a campaign is under way to help fund mammograms for women who can't afford them.  Mammograms are the easiest form of detection for breast cancer, and an early detection increases the likelihood of surviving the disease.  You click on a button on their site to help fund this project.  You can click once each day (hey -- put it on your tool bar, it only takes a minute), and donations are tripled during the month of October.

 

Technorati Tags : Breast, Cancer, Awareness, Month

 

 

 

 

Hotel Internet Charges Revisited

A few days ago, I wrote about an article in the New York Times which cited increased hostility among hotel guests being hit with additional internet charges. You can read the article and accompanying comments here.

One of the comments came from Luke Mellors of the Dorchester Hotel in London. He was one of the individuals interviewed in the original NYT article, and I thank him for weighing in on the other side of this debate, and appreciate his willingness to explain his position. While I agree with him on some concepts, there is still much to respectfully disagree on.

First of all, Mr. Mellors is dead-on right when he says that it's all about value. Whatever it is we are purchasing, for whatever price, we expect value for our expenditure. Our expectations are different when we spend $100 than when we spend $500, but regardless of our price point we still expect value.

I have never been to the Dorchester, but understand that it is quite a lovely hotel. Mr. Mellor's is correct in that there is a cost in providing and maintaining internet access, and that it is reasonable to pass that cost on to your clientele. I do, however, take issue with Mr. Mellor's assertion that it is unfair to pass that cost on to the majority of hotel guests who he claims neither want nor need that service. The concept of choosing amenities and then passing the cost onto the hotel guest is a long established principle in the hospitality business. I don't want, nor need, the hotel mini-bar in my room. In fact, I know very few people who actually use it. Yet, the hotel has determined that it is an amenity that they wish to provide, and pass the attendant costs on to its guest. I feel the same way about the swimming pool, and quite frequently the television as well.

It's not a matter of unfairness at all. It's a matter of the hotel determining which amenities are important to provide and then amortizing the cost of that amenity into its rate structure. In this instance, it's a mattering of deciding that providing internet access to hotel guests at no additional fee important. The Dorchester says that this is not an important fee-free amenity to provide to guests. Which would be fine, except that this determination is based on the opinion that less than 50% of hotel guests use the internet service. This cannot be viewed as supporting the position that less that 50% of guests wish that this service was provided. On the contrary, it merely establishes that less than 50% of the Dorchester's guests are willing to pay the approximately $33 (U.S.) daily fee for internet access.

Mr. Mellors next brags about the hotel's E-Butler service, which, I might add, sounds mighty fine. He says that while the hotel has chosen to charge for internet service, they provide this free E-Butler service to ensure that guest technology needs are met. FREE? This is not a free service. I thought that we had already established that there are no free services. It's all passed on to the consumer in some way, shape or form, either in the daily cost of internet services, or in an increased room charge. So please don't insult me by bragging about this free service. And while we're at it, why is it fair for me to pay an increased room charge for idiots who don't know how to configure their laptop. Especially, and this is using the hotel's logic, less than 50% of guests want internet services, and one cannot only imagine an even smaller percentage of guests need the services of an E-Butler. (NOTE: It sounds like a great idea for a conference or event, but I find it strains credibility for the hotel to pass on the cost for a service such as this to all guests.)

I think what we are seeing, on an increasing basis, is business travelers who want to know what the bottom line will be for their hotel stay. They don't want to be hit with all sorts of add-on charges. I think everyone realizes that their is no such thing as a free lunch, but is it to much to ask for a hotel that markets itself as a business hotel, to include business amenities as part of the standard room rate. I don't think that's to much to ask, and from what occupancies rates are showing, there are a whole lot of people staying at hotels that agree with the concept.

My Space is Not Your Space

I'm back home after a couple of tough days of flying.  I'm still shaking my head at the cheekiness of passengers.

 

On my last flight, while I was in the aisle serving beverages, I noticed a woman in the aft galley.  When I first looked back, I saw her sitting on my jumpseat.  I shouldn't have to tell anyone that this is a big no-no, but evidently some people still don't get it.  They think it's perfect reasonable to sit in a crew member's seat.  In addition to the obvious safety and security issues, this is the equivalent me going into your office, sitting in the chair behind your desk, and putting my feet up.  I wouldn't do it!  And neither should you!

 

I walked back to the galley, and politely explained to this woman that she was not permitted to sit on my jumpseat, and asked her to return to her seat.  She said that she needed to stretch a bit (so, I ask myself, why was she sitting?), but would be fine.  I went back to the cart and continued serving.

 

A few minutes later, I glanced back.  Now, this woman was standing in the gallley, opening drawers and cubby holes, and looking through stuff.  Now I was incensed.  I don't go to your office and rifle through your desk and files.  I respect your work space and privacy.  Is it too much for me to ask that you do the same for me?

 

Apparently, this was a burdensome request, because this woman just didn't get it.  She was incensed.  I insisted that she return to her seat, telling her she was not permitted to dig through the galley supplies.  I'm still shaking my head wondering why I even have to tell anyone that.  She look at me with disbelief, asserting that she had paid thus-and-so for her ticket and she was permitted to do whatever she want.  HUH?  You buy a ticket and then get carte blanche to do whatever you want to do on the airplane.  I DON'T THINK SO!

 

It took every ounce of customer service and people skills that I had to get this woman out of my space, and back into her seat, without causing a scene.  She was unhappy for the remainder of the flight.  I didn't care.

 

Yes, I know I'm ranting, but sometimes I get so sick of seeing this "it's all about me" attitude on the plane.

 

Halloween Candy

I've been busy flying, and delays and other mishaps have me on a schedule producing an altered state. Glad to be back rested up and ready to get things back to normal.

Looking at the calendar, along with the advertisements in the Sunday paper, I realize that Halloween is the end of the month. Where did the year go? (And why am I asking questions like that when I used to laugh at my mom and dad for asking the same thing when I was a kid?)

In the Halloween spirit, I ask: What kind of candy are you? Please leave the answers in a comment or email me directly.

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Thanks to Jennifer Garrett

A very big THANKS to Jennifer Garrett  for featuring this blog as part of her effort to highlight 100 blogs which she disovers, one a day for 100 days.  I've been following her list and have discovered quite a few writers who really knock my socks off.  You might want to check it out as well.

 

Here's what she had to say about me:

 

 

Come fly with me
Sure, we've had writers. A lot of writers. One minister. A few nut jobs. And some more writers. But have we had a flight attendant? I think not. Today, we're flying the friendly skies with Yu Hu Stewardess. Sometimes, this blogging thing is so much fun. Because she's got a sense of humor about her job. And there are sweet perks, the most obvious of which is the great traveling experience. But this fly girl doesn't just hit the highlights; she immerses herself in a place: "I walked the main streets, poking my head into the shops and galleries. I wandered up and down the side streets, doing some people watching and stopping to check out information on some residential vacancies. Although by myself, I felt neither fear, nor reluctance, in immersing myself in the tastes, smells, and feel of the place. I didn’t want to be a visitor to the neighborhood; I wanted to be a part of it."

Any questions? Just ask.

Air Rage

While reading online this morning, I came across Two Edged Sword, written by Lee, a pastor from South Dakota.  He describes a couple of adventures in traveling that he experienced, while on vacation, in a post titled Air Rage.

 

I am including his post, in its entirety, here.  I regret that he had these experiences while on his vacation.  Unfortunately they are all too common.  I also regret that flight attendants have to put up with the every single day they go to work. 

 

 

 

Air Rage

 

I am currently on vacation, and that is why this page has not had any updates recently, but I thought I should take a few seconds to comment on the recent Air Rage epidemic. Air Rage of course is Road Rage for those in air travel.
I recently flew a series of flights from Bismarck, ND to Knoxville, TN and witnessed at least two such events myself. One incident had a stewardess spend no less than 3 minutes arguing with a passenger to return his seat to an upright position for landing. It is a standard rule to straighten your seat back when the plane is about to land, but this passenger would not comply. They argued rather loudly for an extended period of time, and I did not get to see who won. The reason, for those of you who are wondering, that one must return the seat to an upright position is because if the plane crashes, the seat my block those in the rows behind you from being able to exit quickly.

The second incident involved my spilling a drink. I spilt my coke, and the lady next to me and I received the lion’s share of the drink. We dried off as best we could and the seat as well, but apparently some dripped in-between the seats and onto the floor. This angered the passenger behind me because his carry-on item received a few drops of coke. I did not immediately notice his anger, but it was brought to my attention later. I apologized while the plane taxied to gate, and he refused to accept my apology. Only after his wife pleaded with him and repeatedly told me it is okay, did I even get anything remotely related to an acceptance of my apology.

A shocking third incident occurred a week later when my 80 year old grandmother flew from Jackson, MS to Knoxville, TN and a fellow passenger took her seat. My grandmother was in row 3, near the front on the aisle, and in need of making a quick connection. Her plane was already 50 minutes late. Some man who had a seat in the back, row 12 next to the window, took her seat, and did not let her sit down when confronted. His reason? He had to get off the plane quickly, and did not want to wait. My grandmother eventually took his seat in the back. Yet, the stewardess found out, and tried to make the man move, and he still would not relinquish his stolen seat.

The only possible explanation for such amazing acts of selfishness, and rudeness is Air Rage. Perhaps it is transmitted like the Bird Flu, but no matter what it appears to be everywhere. I will be flying home soon, and I am sure to run into more.

Until then let everyone be warned. If you are flying the biggest trouble you will probably face is from someone next to you.

 

Technorati Tags : Flight Attendants, Stewardess, Travel, Airlines

 

 

 

 

Luxury Travel Auction Site

Gridskipper posts about this luxury travel auction site.  Not many flight attendants can afford this type of luxury on a regular basis, but it's worth considering for a special occasion. 

When I last looked, no one had yet bid for this particular package.  Maybe it was because of all the restrictions.  Travel auctions could be so much fun if not for those pesky little restrictions.

Flights: Luxury Link

Luxury Link is an upscale travel broker that happens to specialize in high-priced auctions as well. For example, here's an auction for two nights in an "Urban Suite" at the W New York Court. The retail value is listed at $1,600, which is actually pretty accurate (the W currently offers that suite for $699 per night). Minimum bid is $825, so you could get it for much, much less than otherwise; the auction expires October 13, and only good for stays January 2 to March 31, 2006. Offerings in individual cities are relatively slim outside of major markets like New York (only one auction in Las Vegas?), but if you're flexible enough to hunt around and have the cash to play, your holiday could go from merely grand to super-posh. The fixed-price listings on Luxury Link are also pretty choice, though somehow not as tingly as the auctions.

 

Technorati Tags : Luxury, Travel, Auction, Site